A Fugitive in Boy's Clothes
October 10, 2014Miguel de Cervantes |
Miguel de Cervantes
Saavedra (1547–1616). Don Quixote, Part 1.
Vol. 14, pp. 252-266 of
The Harvard Classics
The romance-stricken
Don Quixote sees a fair youth seated by the side of a stream, "his
feet like two crystals, his hands like snow?flakes." The youth
was a charming girl!
(Cervantes aided in
the capture of Tunis, Oct. 10, 1573.)
The
Fourth Book
I.
Wherein Is Discoursed the New and Pleasant Adventure That Happened to
the Curate and the Barber in Sierra Morena
MOST happy
and fortunate were those times wherein the thrice audacious and bold
knight, Don Quixote of the Mancha, was bestowed on the world, by
whose most honourable resolution to revive and renew in it the
already worn-out and well-night deceased exercise of arms, we joy in
this our so niggard and scant an age of all pastimes, not only the
sweetness of his true history, but also of the other tales and
digressions contained therein, which are in some respects no less
pleasing, artificial, and true than the very history itself; the
which, prosecuting the carded, spun, and self-twined thread of the
relation, says that, as the curate began to bethink himself upon some
answer that might both comfort and animate Cardenio, he was hindered
by a voice which came to his hearing, said very dolefully the words
ensuing:
‘O God!
is it possible that I have yet found out the place which may serve
for a hidden sepulchre to the load of this loathsome body that I
unwillingly bear so long? Yes, it may be, if the solitariness of
these rocks do not illude me. Ah, unfortunate that I am! how much
more grateful companions will these crags and thickets prove to my
designs, by affording me leisure to communicate my mishaps to Heaven
with plaints, than that of any mortal man living, since there is none
upon earth from whom may be expected counsel in doubts, ease in
complaints, or in harms remedy?’ The curate and his companions
heard and understood all the words clearly, and forasmuch as they
conjectured (as indeed it was) that those plaints were delivered very
near unto them, they did all arise to search out the plaintiff; and,
having gone some twenty steps thence, they beheld a young youth
behind a rock, sitting under an ash-tree, and attired like a country
swain, whom, by reason his face was inclined, as he sat washing of
his feet in the clear stream that glided that way, they could not
perfectly discern, and therefore approached towards him with so great
silence, as they were not descried by him, who only attended to the
washing of his feet, which were so white, as they properly resembled
two pieces of clear crystal that grew among the other stones of the
stream. The whiteness and beauty of the feet amazed them, being not
made, as they well conjectured, to tread clods, or measure the steps
of lazy oxen, and holding the plough, as the youth’s apparel would
persuade them; and therefore the curate, who went before the rest,
seeing they were not yet spied, made signs to the other two that they
should divert a little out of the way, or hide themselves behind some
broken cliffs that were near the place, which they did all of them,
noting what the youth did with very great attention. He wore a little
brown capouch girt very near to his body with a white towel, also a
pair of breeches and gamashoes of the same coloured cloth, and on his
head a clay-coloured cap; his gamashoes were lifted up half the leg,
which verily seemed to be white alabaster. Finally, having washed his
feet, taking out a linen kerchief from under his cap, he dried them
therewithal, and at the taking out of the kerchief he held up his
face, and then those which stood gazing on him had leisure to discern
an unmatchable beauty, so surpassing great, as Cardenio, rounding the
curate in the ear, said, ‘This body, since it is not Lucinda, can
be no human creature, but a divine.’ The youth took off his cap at
last, and, shaking his head to the one and other part, did dishevel
and discover such beautiful hairs as those of Phoebus might justly
emulate them; and thereby they knew the supposed swain to be a
delicate woman; yea, and the fairest that ever the first two had seen
in their lives, or Cardenio himself, the lovely Lucinda excepted;
for, as he after affirmed, no feature save Lucinda’s could contend
with hers. The long and golden hairs did not only cover her
shoulders, but did also hide her round about in such sort as (her
feet excepted) no other part of her body appeared, they were so near
and long. At this time her hands served her for a comb, which, as her
feet seemed pieces of crystal in the water, so did they appear among
her hairs like pieces of driven snow. All which circumstances did
possess the three which stood gazing at her with great admiration and
desire to know what she was, and therefore resolved to show
themselves; and with the noise which they made when they arose, the
beautiful maiden held up her head, and, removing her hairs from
before her eyes with both hands, she espied those that had made it;
and presently arising, full of fear and trouble, she laid hand on a
packet that was by her, which seemed to be of apparel and thought to
fly away without staying to pull on her shoes, or to gather up her
hair. But scarce had she gone six paces when her delicate and tender
feet, unable to abide the rough encounter of the stones, made her to
fall to the earth; which the three perceiving, they came out to her,
and the curate arriving first of all, said to her, ‘Lady,
whatsoever you be, stay and fear nothing; for we which you behold
here come only with intention to do you service, and therefore you
need not pretend so impertinent a flight, which neither your feet can
endure, nor would we permit.’
The poor
girl remained so amazed and confounded as she answered not a word;
wherefore, the curate and the rest drawing nearer, they took her by
the hand, and then he prosecuted his speech, saying, ‘What your
habit concealed from us, lady, your hairs have bewrayed, being
manifest arguments that the causes were of no small moment which have
thus bemasked your singular beauty under so unworthy array, and
conducted you to this all-abandoned desert, wherein it was a
wonderful chance to have met you, if not to remedy your harms, yet at
least to give you some comfort, seeing no evil can afflict and vex
one so much, and plunge him in so deep extremes (whilst it deprives
not the life), that will wholly abhor from listening to the advice
that is offered with a good and sincere intention; so that, fair
lady, or lord, or what else you shall please to be termed, shake off
your affrightment, and rehearse unto us your good or ill fortune; for
you shall find in us jointly, or in every one part, companions to
help you to deplore your disasters.’
Whilst the
curate made this speech, the disguised woman stood as one half
asleep, now beholding the one, now the other, without once moving her
lip or saying a word; just like a rustical clown, when rare and
unseen things to him before are unexpectedly presented to his view.
But the
curate insisting, and using other persuasive reasons addressed to
that effect, won her at last to make a breach on her tedious silence,
and, with a profound sigh, blow open her coral gates, saying somewhat
to this effect: ‘Since the solitariness of these rocks hath not
been potent to conceal me, nor the dishevelling of my disordered
hairs licensed my tongue to belie my sex, it were in vain for me to
feign that anew which, if you believed it, would be more for
courtesy’s sake than any other respect. Which presupposed, I say,
good sirs, that I do gratify you highly for the liberal offers you
have made me, which are such as have bound me to satisfy your demand
as near as I may, although I fear the relation which I must make to
you of my mishaps will breed sorrow at once with compassion in you,
by reason you shall not be able to find any salve that may cure,
comfort, or beguile them; yet, notwithstanding, to the end my
reputation may not hover longer suspended in your opinions, seeing
you know me to be a woman, and view me young, alone, and thus
attired, being things all of them able, either joined or parted, to
overthrow the best credit, I must be enforced to unfold what I could
otherwise most willingly conceal.’
All this
she, that appeared so comely, spoke without stop or staggering, with
so ready delivery, and so sweet a voice, as her discretion admired
them no less than her beauty; and, renewing again their compliments
and entreaties to her to accomplish speedily her promise, she,
setting all coyness apart, drawing on her shoes very modestly, and
winding up her hair, sat her down on a stone, and the other three
about her, where she used no little violence to smother certain
rebellious tears that strove to break forth without her permission,
and them, with a reposed and clear voice, she began the history of
her life in this manner:
‘In this
province of Andalusia there is a certain town from whence a duke
derives his denomination, which makes him one of those in Spain are
called grandees. He hath two sons—the elder is heir of his states,
and likewise, as may be presumed, of his virtues; the younger is heir
I know not of what, if he be not of Vellido, his treacheries or
Galalon’s frauds. My parents are this nobleman’s vassals, of
humble and low calling, but so rich as, if the goods of nature had
equalled those of their fortunes, then should they have had nothing
else to desire, nor I feared to see myself in the misfortunes wherein
I now am plunged, for perhaps my mishaps proceed from that of theirs,
in not being nobly descended. True it is that they are not so base as
they should therefore shame their calling, nor so high as may check
my conceit, which persuades me that my disasters proceed from their
lowness. In conclusion, they are but farmers and plain people, but
without any touch or spot of bad blood, and, as we usually say, old,
rusty Christians, yet so rusty and ancient as yet their riches and
magnificent port gain them, by little and little, the title of
gentility, yea, and of worship also; although the treasure and
nobility whereof they made most price and account was to have had me
for their daughter; and therefore, as well by reason that they had
none other heir than myself, as also because, as affectionate
parents, they held me most dear, I was one of the most made of and
cherished daughters that ever father brought up. I was the mirror
wherein they beheld themselves, the staff of their old age, and the
subject to which they addressed all their desires, from which,
because they were most virtuous, mine did not stray an inch; and even
in the same manner that I was lady of their minds, so was I also of
their goods. By me were servants admitted or dismissed; the notice
and account of what was sowed or reaped passed through my hands; of
the oil-mills, the wine-presses, the number of great and little
cattle, the bee-hives—in fine, of all that so rich a farmer as my
father was, had, or could have, I kept the account, and was the
steward thereof and mistress, with such care of my side, and pleasure
of theirs, as I cannot possibly endear it enough. The times of
leisure that I had in the day, after I had given what was necessary
to the head servants and other labourers, I did entertain in those
exercises which were both commendable and requisite for maidens, to
wit, in sewing, making of bone lace, and many times handling the
distaff; and if sometimes I left those exercises to recreate my mind
a little, I would then take some godly book in hand, or play on the
harp; for experience had taught me that music ordereth disordered
minds, and doth lighten the passions that afflict the spirit.
‘This was
the life which I led in my father’s house, the recounting whereof
so particularly hath not been done for ostentation, nor to give you
to understand that I am rich, but to the end you may note how much,
without mine own fault, have I fallen from that happy state I have
said, unto the unhappy plight into which I am now reduced. The
history, therefore, is this, that passing my life in so many
occupations, and that with such recollection as might be compared to
a religious life, unseen, as I thought, by any other person than
those of our house; for when I went to mass it was commonly so early,
and so accompanied by my mother and other maid-servants, and I myself
so covered and watchful as mine eyes did scarce see the earth whereon
I trod; and yet, notwithstanding, those of love, or, as I may better
term them, of idleness, to which lynx eyes may not be compared, did
represent me to Don Fernando’s affection and care; for this is the
name of the duke’s younger son of whom I spake before.’
Scarce had
she named Don Fernando, when Cardenio changed coloua, and began to
sweat, with such alteration of body and countenance, as the curate
and barber which beheld it, feared that the accident of frenzy did
assault him, which was wont (as they had heard) to possess him at
times. But Cardenio did nothing else than sweat, and stood still,
beholding now and then the country girl, imagining straight what she
was; who, without taking notice of his alteration, followed on her
discourse in this manner:
‘And
scarce had he seen me, when (as he himself after confessed) he abode
greatly surprised by my love, as his actions, did after give evident
demonstration. But to conclude soon the relation of those misfortunes
which have no conclusion, I will overslip in silence the diligences
and practices of Don Fernando, used to declare unto me his affection.
He suborned all the folk of the house; he bestowed gifts and favours
on my parents. Every day was a holiday and a day of sports in the
streets where I dwelt; at night no man could sleep for music. The
letters were innumerable that came to my hands, without knowing who
brought them farsed too full of amorous conceits and offers, and
containing more promises and protestations, than characters. All
which not only could not mollify my mind, but rather hardened it so
much as if he were my mortal enemy; and therefore did construe all
the endeavours he used to gain my goodwill to be practised to a
contrary end; which I did not as accounting Don Fernando ungentle, or
that I esteemed him too importunate; for I took a kind of delight to
see myself so highly esteemed and beloved of so noble a gentleman;
nor was I anything offended to see his papers written in my praise;
for, if I be not deceived in this point, be we women ever so foul, we
love to hear men call us beautiful. But mine honesty was that which
opposed itself unto all these things, and the continual admonitions
of my parents, which had by this plainly perceived Don Fernando’s
pretence, as one that cared not all the world should know it. They
would often say unto me that they had deposited their honours and
reputation in my virtue alone and discretion, and bade me consider
the inequality that was between Don Fernando and me, and that I might
collect by it how his thoughts (did he ever so much affirm the
contrary) were more addressed to compass his pleasures than my
profit; and that if I feared any inconvenience might befall, to the
end they might cross it, and cause him to abandon his so unjust a
pursuit, they would match me where I most liked, either to the best
of that town or any other adjoining, saying, they might easily
compass it, both by reason of their great wealth and my good report.
I fortified my resolution and integrity with these certain promises
and the known truth which they told me, and therefore would never
answer to Don Fernando any word that might ever so far off argue the
least hope of condescending to his desires. All which cautions of
mine, which I think he deemed to be disdains, did inflame more his
lascivious appetite (for this is the name wherewithal I entitle his
affection towards me), which, had it been such as it ought, you had
not known it now, for then the cause of revealing it had not befallen
me. Finally, Don Fernando, understanding how my parents meant to
marry me, to the end they might make void his hope of ever possessing
me, or at least set more guards to preserve mine honour, and this
news or surmise was an occasion that he did what you shall presently
hear.
‘For, one
night as I sat in my chamber, only attended by a young maiden that
served me, I having shut the doors very safe, for fear lest, through
my negligence, my honesty might incur any danger, without knowing or
imagining how it might happen, notwithstanding all my diligences used
and preventions, and amidst the solitude of this silence and
recollection, he stood before me in my chamber. At his presence I was
so troubled as I lost both sight and speech, and by reason thereof
could not cry, nor I think he would not, though I had attempted it,
permit me; for he presently ran over to me, and, taking me between
his arms (for, as I have said, I was so amazed as I had no power to
defend myself), he spake such things to me as I know not how it is
possible that so many lies should have ability to feign things
resembling in show so much the truth; and the traitor caused tears to
give credit to his words, and sighs to give countenance to his
intention.
‘I, poor
soul, being alone amidst my friends, and weakly practised in such
affairs, began, I know not how, to account his leasings for verities,
but not in such sort as his tears or sighs might any wise move me to
any compassion that were not commendable. And so, the first trouble
and amazement of mind being past, I began again to recover my
defective spirits, and then said to him, with more courage than I
thought I should have had, “If, as I am, my lord between your arms,
I were between the paws of a fierce lion, and that I were made
certain of my liberty on condition to do or say anything prejudicial
to mine honour, it would prove as impossible for me to accept it as
for that which once hath been to leave off his essence and being.
Wherefore, even as you have engirt my middle with your arms, so
likewise have I tied fast my mind with virtuous and forcible desires
that are wholly different from yours, as you shall perceive, if,
seeking to force me, you presume to pass further with your inordinate
design. I am your vassal, but not your slave; nor hath the nobility
of your blood power, nor ought it to harden, to dishonour, stain, or
hold in little account the humility of mine; and I do esteem myself,
though a country wench and farmer’s daughter, as much as you can
yourself, though a nobleman and a lord. With me your violence shall
not prevail, your riches gain any grace, your words have power to
deceive, or your sighs and tears be able to move; yet, if I shall
find any of these properties mentioned in him whom my parent shall
please to bestow on me for my spouse, I will presently subject my
will to his, nor shall it ever vary from his mind a jot; so that, if
I might remain with honour, although I rested void of delights, yet
would I willingly bestow on you that which you presently labour so
much to obtain: all which I do say to divert your straying thought
from ever thinking that any one may obtain of me aught who is not my
lawful spouse.” “If the let only consists therein, most beautiful
Dorothea” (for so I am called), answered the disloyal lord,
“behold, I give thee here my hand to be thine alone; and let the
heavens, from which nothing is concealed, and this image of Our Lady,
which thou hast here present, be witnesses of this truth!”’
When
Cardenio heard her say that she was called Dorothea, he fell again
into his former suspicion, and in the end confirmed his first opinion
to be true, but would not interrupt her speech, being desirous to
know the success, which he knew wholly almost before, and therefore
said only, ‘Lady, is it possible that you are named Dorothea? I
have heard report of another of that name, which perhaps hath run the
like course of your misfortune; but I request you to continue your
relation, for a time may come wherein I may recount unto you things
of the same kind, which will breed no small admiration.’ Dorothea
noted Cardenio’s words and his uncouth and disastrous attire, and
then entreated him very instantly if he knew anything of her affairs
he would acquaint her therewithal; for if fortune had left her any
good, it was only the courage which she had to bear patiently any
disaster that might befall her, being certain in her opinion that no
new one could arrive which might increase a whit those she had
already.
‘Lady, I
would not let slip the occasion,’ quoth Cardenio, ‘to tell you
what I think, if that which I imagine were true; and yet there is no
commodity left to do it, nor can it avail you much to know it.’
‘Let it be what it list,’ said Dorothea; ‘but that which after
befel of my relation was this: That Don Fernando took an image that
was in my chamber for witness of our contract, and added withal most
forcible words and unusual oaths, promising unto me to become my
husband; although I warned him, before he had ended his speech, to
see well what he did, and to weigh the wrath of his father when he
should see him married to one so base and his vassal, and that
therefore he should take heed that my beauty (such as it was) should
not blind him, seeing he should not find therein a sufficient excuse
for his error, and that if he meant to do me any good, I conjured
him, by the love that he bore unto me, to licence my fortunes to rule
in their own sphere, according as my quality reached; for such
unequal matches do never please long, nor persevere with that delight
wherewithal they began.
‘All the
reasons here rehearsed I said unto him, and many more which now are
fallen out of mind, but yet proved of no efficacy to wean him from
his obstinate purpose; even like unto one that goeth to buy, with
intention never to pay for what he takes, and therefore never
considers the price, worth, or defect of the stuff he takes to
credit. I at this season made a brief discourse, and said thus to
myself, “I may do this, for I am not the first which by matrimony
hath ascended from a low degree to a high estate; nor shall Don
Fernando be the first whom beauty or blind affection (for that is the
most certain) hath induced to make choice of a consort unequal to his
greatness. Then, since herein I create to new world nor custom, what
error can be committed by embracing the honour wherewithal fortune
crowns me, although it so befel that his affection to me endured no
longer than till he accomplished his will? for before God I certes
shall still remain his wife. And if I should disdainfully give him
the repulse, I see him now in such terms as, perhaps forgetting the
duty of a nobleman, he may use violence, and then shall I remain for
ever dishonoured, and also without excuse of the imputations of the
ignorant, which knew not how much without any fault I have fallen
into this inevitable danger; for what reasons may be sufficiently
forcible to persuade my father and others that this nobleman did
enter into my chamber without my consent?” All these demands and
answers did I, in an instant, revolve in mine imagination, and found
myself chiefly forced (how I cannot tell) to assent to his petition
by the witnesses he invoked, the tears he shed, and finally by his
sweet disposition and comely feature, which, accompanied with so many
arguments of unfeigned affection, were able to conquer and enthrall
any other heart, though it were as free and wary as mine own. Then
called I for my waiting-maid, that she might on earth accompany the
celestial witnesses.
‘And then
Don Fernando turned again to reiterate and confirm his oaths, and
added to his former other new saints as witnesses, and wished a
thousand succeeding maledictions to light on him if he did not
accomplish his promise to me. His eyes again waxed moist, his sighs
increased, and himself enwreathed me more straitly between his arms,
from which he had never once loosed me; and with this, and my
maiden’s departure, I left to be a maiden, and he began to be a
traitor and a disloyal man. The day that succeeded to the night of my
mishaps came not, I think, so soon as Don Fernando desired it; for,
after a man hath satisfied that which the appetite covets, the
greatest delight it can take after is to apart itself from the place
where the desire was accomplished. I say this, because Don Fernando
did hasten his departure from me: by my maid’s industry, who was
the very same that had brought him into my chamber, he was got in the
street before dawning. And at his departure from me he said (although
not with so great show of affection and vehemency as he had used at
his coming) that I might be secure of his faith, and that his oaths
were firm and most true; and for a more confirmation of his word, he
took a rich ring off his finger and put it on mine. In fine, he
departed, and I remained behind, I cannot well say whether joyful or
sad; but this much I know, that I rested confused and pensive, and
almost beside myself for the late mischance; yet either I had not the
heart, or else I forgot to chide my maid for her treachery committed
by shutting up Don Fernando in my chamber; for as yet I could not
determine whether that which had befallen me was a good or an evil.
‘I said
to Don Fernando, at his departure, that he might see me other nights
when he pleased, by the same means he had come that night, seeing I
was his own, and would rest so, until it pleased him to let the world
know that I was his wife. But he never returned again but the next
night following, nor could I see him after, for the space of a month,
either in the street or church, so as I did but spend time in vain to
expect him; although I understood that he was still in town, and rode
every other day a-hunting, an exercise to which he was much addicted.
‘Those
days were, I know, unfortunate and accursed to me, and those hours
sorrowful; for in them I began to doubt, nay, rather wholly to
discredit Don Fernando’s faith; and my maid did then hear loudly
the checks I gave unto her for her presumption, ever until then
dissembled; and I was, moreover, constrained to watch and keep guard
on my tears and countenance, lest I should give occasion to my
parents to demand of me the cause of my discontents, and thereby
engage me to use ambages or untruths to cover them. But all this
ended in an instant, one moment arriving whereon all these respects
stumbled, all honourable discourses ended, patience was lost, and my
most hidden secrets issued in public; which was, when there was
spread a certain rumour throughout the town, within a few days after,
that Don Fernando had married, in a city near adjoining, a damsel of
surpassing beauty, and of very noble birth, although not so rich as
could deserve, by her preferment or dowry, so worthy a husband; it
was also said that she was named Lucinda, with many other things that
happened at their espousals worthy of admiration.’ Cardenio hearing
Lucinda named did nothing else but lift up his shoulders, bite his
lip, bend his brows, and after a little while shed from his eyes two
floods of tears. But yet for all that Dorothea did not interrupt the
file of her history, saying, ‘This doleful news came to my hearing;
and my heart, instead of freezing thereat, was so inflamed with
choler and rage, as I had well-nigh run out to the streets, and with
outcries published the deceit and treason that was done to me; but my
fury was presently assuaged by the resolution which I made to do what
I put in execution the very same night, and then I put on this habit
which you see, being given unto me by one of those that among us
country-folk are called swains, who was my father’s servant; to
whom I disclosed all my misfortunes, and requested him to accompany
me to the city where I understood my enemy sojourned. He, after he
had reprehended my boldness, perceiving me to have an inflexible
resolution, made offer to attend on me, as he said, unto the end of
the world; and presently after I trussed up in a pillow-bear a
woman’s attire, some money, and jewels, to prevent necessities that
might befal; and in the silence of night, without acquainting my
treacherous maid with my purpose, I issued out of my house,
accompanied by my servant and many imaginations, and in that manner
set on towards the city, and though I went on foot, was yet borne
away flying by my desires, to come, if not in time enough to hinder
that which was past, yet at least to demand of Don Fernando that he
would tell me with what conscience of soul he had done it. I arrived
where I wished within two days and a half; and at the entry of the
city I demanded where Lucinda her father dwelt; and he of whom I
first demanded the question answered me more than I desired to hear.
He showed me the house, and recounted to me all that befel at the
daughter’s marriage, being a thing so public and known in the city,
as men made meetings of purpose to discourse thereof.
‘He said
to me that the very night wherein Don Fernando was espoused to
Lucinda, after she had given her consent to be his wife, she was
instantly assailed by a terrible accident that struck her into a
trance, and her spouse approaching to unclasp her bosom that she
might take the air; found a paper folded in it, written with
Lucinda’s own hand, wherein she said and declared that she could
not be Don Fernando’s wife, because she was already Cardenio’s,
who was, as the man told me, a very principal gentleman of the same
city; and that if she had given her consent to Don Fernando, it was
only done because she would not disobey her parents. In conclusion,
he told me that the paper made also mention how she had a resolution
to kill herself presently after the marriage, and did also lay down
therein the motives she had to do it; all which, as they say, was
confirmed by a poniard that was found hidden about her in her
apparel. Which Don Fernando perceiving, presuming that Lucinda did
flout him, and hold him in little account, he set upon her ere she
was come to herself, and attempted to kill her with the very same
poniard, and had done it, if her father and other friends which were
present had not opposed themselves and hindered his determination.
Moreover, they reported that presently after Don Fernando absented
himself from the city, and that Lucinda turned not out of her agony
until the next day, and then recounted to her parents how she was
verily spouse to that Cardenio of whom we spake even now. I learned
besides that Cardenio, as it is rumoured, was present at the
marriage, and that as soon as he saw her married, being a thing he
would never have credited, departed out of the city in a desperate
mood, but first left behind him a letter, wherein he showed at large
the wrong Lucinda had done to him, and that he himself meant to go to
some place where people should never after hear of him. All this was
notorious, and publicly bruited throughout the city, and every one
spoke thereof, but most of all having very soon after understood that
Lucinda was missing from her parent’s house and the city, for she
could not be found in neither of both; for which her parents were
almost beside themselves, not knowing what means to use to find her.
‘These
news reduced my hopes again to their ranks, and I esteemed it better
to find Don Fernando unmarried than married, presuming that yet the
gates of my remedy were not wholly shut, I giving myself to
understand that Heaven had peradventure set that impediment on the
second marriage to make him understand what he ought to the first,
and to remember how he was a Christian, and that he was more obliged
to his soul than to human respects. I revolved all these things in my
mind, and comfortless did yet comfort myself, by feigning large yet
languishing hopes, to sustain that life which I now do so much abhor.
And whilst I stayed thus in the city, ignorant what I might do,
seeing I found not Don Fernando, I heard a crier go about publicly,
promising great rewards to any one that could find me out, giving
signs of the very age and apparel I wore; and I likewise heard it was
bruited abroad that the youth which came with me had carried me away
from my father’s house—a thing that touched my soul very nearly,
to view my credit so greatly wrecked, seeing that it was not
sufficient to have lost it by my coming away, without the addition
[of] him with whom I departed, being a subject so base and unworthy
of my loftier thoughts. Having heard this cry, I departed out of the
city with my servant, who even then began to give tokens that he
faltered in the fidelity he had promised to me; and both of us,
together entered the very same night into the most hidden parts of
this mountain, fearing lest we might be found. But, as it is commonly
said that one evil calls on another, and that the end of one disaster
is the beginning of a greater, so proved it with me; for my good
servant, until then faithful and trusty, rather incited by his
villainy than my beauty, thought to have taken the benefit of the
opportunity which these inhabitable places offered, and solicited me
of love, with little shame and less fear of God, or respect of
myself; and now seeing that I answered his impudences with severe and
reprehensive words, leaving the entreaties aside wherewithal he
thought first to have compassed his will, he began to use his force;
but just Heaven, which seldom or never neglects the just man’s
assistance, did so favour my proceedings, as with my weak forces, and
very little labour, I threw him down a steep rock, and there I left
him, I know not whether alive or dead; and presently I entered in
among these mountains with more swiftness than my fear and weariness
required, having therein no other project or design than to hide
myself in them, and shun my father and others, which by his entreaty
and means sought for me everywhere.
‘Some
months are past since my first coming here, where I found a herdman,
who carried me to a village seated in the midst of these rocks,
wherein he dwelt, and entertained me, whom I have served as a
shepherd ever since, procuring as much as lay in me to abide still in
the field, to cover these hairs which have now so unexpectedly
betrayed me; yet all my care and industry availed not, seeing my
master came at last to the notice that I was no man, but a woman,
which was an occasion that the like evil thought sprung in him as
before in my servant; and as fortune gives not always remedy for the
difficulties which occur, I found neither rock nor downfall to cool
and cure my master’s infirmity, as I had done for my man, and
therefore I accounted it a less inconvenience to depart thence, and
hide myself again among these deserts, than to adventure the trial of
my strength or reason with him; therefore, as I say, I turned to
imbosk myself, and search out some place where, without any
encumbrance, I might entreat Heaven, with my sighs and tears, to have
compassion on my mishap, and lend me industry and favour, either to
issue fortunately out of it, or else to die amidst these solitudes,
not leaving any memory of a wretch, who hath ministered matter,
although not through her own default, that men may speak and murmur
of her, both in her own and in other countries.’
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